“Bullying is the wilful, conscious desire to hurt another and put him or her under stress.” (Tattum and Tattum, 1992)
Specialists who have studied the problem of bullying have recommended that a clearly defined and well published policy to which staff, students and parents are committed is the best way for a school to ensure that bullying does not occur.
We are aware that, in St Paul’s students are not immune from the risk of bullying and, for this reason, we wish to make parents and guardians aware of our policy in this matter.
Bullying can take many forms:
- Gesture bullying
- Verbal bullying
- Physical bullying
- Extortion bullying
- Exclusion bullying
Bullying in all its forms is totally unacceptable and, where it is discovered decisive steps are taken to prevent recurrence.
It can be a complex problem and is dealt with through the pastoral care and discipline structures of the school. Where parents suspect that a child is being bullied, they should inform the form teacher, in the knowledge that the matter will be dealt with urgently. Where the school uncovers bullying of which parents may be unaware, it will, if it is deemed necessary, inform the parents concerned and help them to deal constructively with the matter. It is important to note that when such a matter has been dealt with it will normally be regarded as closed.
Bullying thrives on silence and secrecy and, if it is to be eradicated from schools, making them happy and safe places in which to learn, it must be brought into the open. Opportunities must be created, both in school and at home, for children to discuss the problem. In St Paul’s the topic of bullying is discussed in the form class and as part of the PSHE programme. Students are encouraged to be open with their form teachers and subject teachers about specific problems related to bullying. It would be helpful if parents, in turn, would discuss this policy statement with their children, thus giving them the opportunity at home to bring up any problems they may be expecting.
POSSIBLE SIGNS OF BULLYING
GUIDANCE NOTES FOR PARENTS AND TEACHERS
Parents and teachers are in ideal positions to observe changes in a child’s behaviour which may well indicate that the child is being subjected to bully- ing.
So look out for the child –
- items of whose clothing, property, school work, etc. are damaged or lost more often than you would consider to be normal:
- who frequently has injuries (bruises, cuts, etc.)
- who becomes withdrawn and is reluctant to say why
- who spends a lot of time in his/her bedroom possibly crying; who finds it difficult to sleep, wets the bed or has nightmares; who always appears tired in school
- whose academic attainment slowly or suddenly deteriorates
- who is reluctant to go to school or to particular classes: (parents may not even be aware of this as a child may be playing truant. School may become aware of it through absenteeism, showing up on the school attendance register. Teachers should be alert to the possibility of a child registering but then failing to attend class.)
- who asks to be accompanied going to and from school, or to take a differ- ent route; (If such a route is longer that the previous one, it could indicate that bullying has been occurring along the previous route.)
- who comes home hungry; who always took school dinners but no longer does so; (This could be due to a bully’s demanding the child’s “dinner” money).
- who may be stealing money at home or in school.
- who becomes depressed; who is reluctant to eat or play normally; who appears to be generally unhappy, miserable, moody and/or irritable:
- who threatens or attempts to take his/her own life:
Please note our procedure regarding occasions of bullying which may be reported to us. This should help you understand the ‘bigger picture’ in our dealings with bullying issues.First steps..
- take the incident or report seriously take action as quickly as possible
- think hard about whether your action needs to be private or public; who are the students involved?
- reassure the victim; do not make him/her feel inadequate or foolish
- offer concrete help, advice and support to the victim make it plain to the bully that you disapprove encourage the bully to see the victim’s point of view
Punish the bully if you have to, but be careful how you do this: (Reacting aggressively or punitively gives the message that it is all right to bully if you have the power.)
DO
- Involve others
- Inform the appropriate Form Teachers and Year Heads.
- Inform colleagues if the incident arose out of a situation where everyone should be vigilant, e.g. unsupervised toilets, lunchtime.
DO
Final steps..
- Make sure the incident does not live on through reminders from you:
- Try to think ahead to prevent a recurrence of the incident, if you have uncovered the cause; Keep an eye on the victim.
If you have to deal with bullying what should you avoid doing?
DO NOT:
- Be over protective and refuse to allow the victim to help himself/herself.
- Assume that the bully is bad, through and through: rather try to look objectively at the behaviour, with the bully:
- Keep the whole matter a secret because you have dealt with it:
- Try to hide the incident from the parents of the victim or of the bully:
- Call in the parents without having a constructive plan to offer either side.
